As I admitted previously, I too have been smitten by the one and only Christian Grey from the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. He is described in the books as the stereotypical perfect man: tall, handsome, millionaire, charming, muscular, millionaire, great smile, impeccable hair, and deep gray eyes, and he also happens to have a “dark side”. Because, you know, what woman doesn’t fall for a man with a dark side? He’s the type of guy that when he walks into a room, women spot him a mile away like a Coach handbag on clearance at Marshall’s.
The 50 Shades of Grey trilogy is not your average love story and probably should not be read by anyone under the age of 18 (the countless parenthesis and quotation marks in this post are my attempts to keep it as PG13 as possible). In fact, it’s so kinky and there’s so much sex that at times I’d find myself thinking: “Oh, they’re at it again?!” and would skip through until I found the words “orgasm” or “explosion” and would then continue the story line. Not that the sex scenes were bad, on the contrary, they were mind-blowing and would make you consider trying things you’ve never even thought of before. But honestly, that much sex can’t be normal. I think the author left out the part where the housekeeper crushes Viagra into their toothpaste or something because it’s just a bit much, in my honest opinion.
But what is it about Anastasia Steele’s (the main character) love interest, Mr. Christian Grey, that has all of us women wishing he was real? Especially when his “dark side” is so dark that he insists his girlfriends (aka submissives) sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement (NDA) where they are legally prohibited to disclose to anyone the juicy details of their relationship and they would also have to sign a contract which states the do’s and don’ts along with the terms of the relationship (for example his “girlfriends” are required to be on a strict diet, have a personal trainer, wear a pre-selected wardrobe, wax their bikini area, etc.) because, according to him, he needs you presentable and physically in shape (just imagine what he’s going to do to you :lol:).
But in spite of his strict contract, shut-your-mouth NDA, and his “dark side”, there is still something about him that would make most of us women (yes myself included) want to sign his contract all the way in chapter 5 of book 1, no questions asked, without probably even reading it (leave it up to a female author to create the perfect man). This got me thinking. And then I realized that if you remove from the equation the amazing, mind-blowing sex and the fact that he’s a millionaire, he is just a regular guy that pays a LOT of attention to detail (aka control freak). I tried my best to write down all the simple moments or little details (excluding the money and the kinky fuckery) that while reading the trilogy, had my inner goddess wondering why can’t more men be like Mr. Grey?
- He neatly folded her clothes for when she woke the morning after. If a guy did this for me, I’d ask him to marry me right then and there. This is by far, the sweetest thing, you could ever do for her the “morning after”. Forget breakfast. Who has time for breakfast anymore? If you really want to do something sweet for me, fold my clothes before you fall asleep so they’re wrinkle free when I wake up. 😀
- He knows how to braid a woman’s hair. Before “making love” or getting ready for “kinky fuckery” as frequently referred to in the books, he would occasionally braid her hair so it wouldn’t be in the way. Probably the most thoughtful thing you could do before ripping a woman’s clothes off is to tie up her hair. Yes, flowing hair is sexy, but unless you have long hair you wouldn’t know how annoying it is to have it int he way when you’re “occupied”.
- He’s not afraid of being cheesy. He kept the song Toxic by Britney Spears on his iPod. Ok, so it was put there by his ex, but he did admit that he liked the song. Kudos to a man who’s not afraid to get his Toxic on.
- He’s wants to let everyone know he’s hers. Throughout the books, when he became aware that another woman was flirting with him, he would grab Anastasia’s hand or kiss her on the cheek, any kind of gesture to let the other woman know he was taken and proud of it. He was also ok with subtle public displays of affection in front of his family, even if it made him looked whipped.
- He was aware she’d get sick if she left the house with her hair wet. What man nowadays even knows that it’s possible to get sick if you step into cold weather with your hair wet? Just the fact that he knows this makes him the most caring man alive (or in this case imagined).
- He is responsible. Super responsible. Not once did Anastasia have to remind him of any appointments or plans. All the opposite, he would make sure everything was planned and taken care of, even her gynecological exams. 😯
- He knows how to dance. What dream man isn’t complete without the ability to dance?
- He told her to put the chicken in the fridge while she was preparing it for dinner before seducing her into the bedroom. I don’t know about you, but I hate being interrupted when I’m in the middle of something, no matter what it is. But especially if it involves leaving food halfway cooked. He was thoughtful enough to tell her to put the chicken in the fridge before seducing her because she was about to cook it and he didn’t want it to get ruined while he was “busy” with her in the bedroom.
- He would offer to prepare a bath for her whenever she seemed tired. Do you still need more reasons as to why he is the perfect man?
- He voluntarily held her hair while she puked. This one pretty much explains on its own why he is just perfect.
- He liked it when she ate everything on your plate. A man who actually wants me to eat? Wow, just wow.
- He voluntarily blow-dried her hair. Seriously? These days your lucky if you can get your man to brush it for you.
- He’s not afraid to be vulnerable. He is constantly telling her throughout the entire trilogy how much she means to him, how much he needs her and how he cannot live without her. Awww.
- He pays attention to detail. If you say you want hearts and flowers, he will give you hearts and flowers, literally. You only need to mention once what you would like for your birthday and he’ll remember, even if it’s months before your birthday.
- He removed her makeup for her before going to bed when she arrived home tipsy. When you’re out and having fun with your girls, it can be difficult sometimes to keep track on how many drinks you’ve had. The tipsier you are when you get home, the more likely you are to crawl into bed with your clothes and makeup on. I’ve learned by experience to always leave the bed made and ready for sleeping before going out with the girls. I even lay out my pajamas on the bed. But unfortunately, I haven’t found a shortcut for removing my makeup when I come home a bit on the drunk side. So having a man who is thoughtful enough to do it for me seems like the perfect solution.
At the end of the day, all we really want is someone who makes us feel special and cared for. It doesn’t really matter how he does it. I’m more than sure that a lot of women would disagree with me and find some of the items I mentioned above rather annoying instead of romantic. Not all women are the same. We do generally like the same things but one sweet gesture won’t have the same meaning to every individual woman. So the best advice I can give to a man on how to impress a woman is to get to know her and don’t be afraid to go out of your way to impress her, but keep in mind that sometimes the simplest details are enough. We don’t always want chocolates and flowers (okay maybe we do always want chocolate) but sometimes preparing our bath, dancing with us, or holding our hair while we puke can be just as thoughtful as flowers and chocolates. But if the only advice you’re looking for is how to step things up in the bedroom, I’d highly recommend giving her a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Trust me. 😉