If you are like me and approaching the big three zero soon, chances are that you’ve been asked the famous question: So, when are you getting married? These chances are even higher if you’re in a long-term relationship. And I’ve noticed that the closer you are to the age of 30 the period of time required to form a “long-term relationship” keeps getting smaller and smaller. For example, if you’re 25 it will probably be around two or so years into the relationship before you have to face the question, if you’re 27 most likely after one year, and if you’re 29 forget it, you will be forced to inform society of your wedding date after simply six months.
I just recently turned 27 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years now and I noticed that after my birthday I have had to answer this question more than I ever have in my life. I posted this picture (cruel I know) on my Facebook wall and haven’t had to answer the question since. 😆
Don’t get me wrong, I want nothing more in life than to settle down and have a family. It’s a life long dream of mine. But there is only one reason why I would want to get married right now (because I deeply love him) and many reasons why we shouldn’t: we are still young, we aren’t where we would like to be financially, weddings are expensive, there are still many things we would like to do on our own before getting married, and so on and so on.
Even though I don’t owe anyone any explanations but for the sake of the arguments I would have to say the main reason is the financial aspect. Neither of us are where we would like to be financially. Having to cost 90% of my college expenses has left me with a great amount of debt, most of which I should have paid off when I turn 30 (the one good thing I have to look forward to about reaching 30). And my boyfriend just finished his bachelors degree last year and currently gaining the experience needed to get a higher paying job. If we were married and he lost his job for whatever reason, there would be no way I would be able to financially hold his weight and vice versa; and this is something that I feel is greatly overlooked when considering marriage.
There are also a lot of things I would like to do before getting married. For example, as I mentioned in my last post, I am currently taking culinary art classes. Not that I couldn’t have if I were married, but if I were married I would’ve had to think about the impact it would’ve had on my marriage, such as financially and time wise since it is very time-consuming and costly.
And not to forget the actual wedding. Why the heck are they so damn expensive? I don’t know if I would be considered practical or cheap, but I can’t see myself spending thousands all for one day. I would much rather have a super simple wedding and a kick-ass honeymoon than an elaborate wedding and no honeymoon. $1000 for rings, another $1000 for a wedding dress, $2000 for a humble venue and you’re lucky if it’ll include the food and decorations. You still need flowers and cake and hair and makeup and tuxedos and the photographer, oh and invitations! I would love to have the princess, fairy-tale, Kim Kardashian wedding, but in my case 90% if not all of the expenses will be cost by us, the bride & groom. If it were up to me I’d elope to Vegas if I could switch getting married by Elvis and get married by Chuck Norris. Or better yet, get married at McDonald’s. 🙂
There are much more aspects of marriage to consider than just being in love. If I get married I want it to be forever. I don’t want to be another number in the divorce statistic. And if I’m happy with the way things are why should I rush to change things just so that I can please society standards of getting married by a certain age? I have learned and matured so much between my early twenties and now. Learning how to be independent, establishing a career and just figuring out what I want to do with my life has really put things into perspective for me. When I was in my early twenties I admit I wanted to be married before I was 25, and when I think of why, it’s because I was afraid of being 30 and alone.There are very few images in society that displays a positive view of women over 30. The only semi-positive idea we’ve been given of what it’s like to be single and over 30 is in Sex and the City and even then so they were pictured as desperate older women. And how did the movie end? She finally got MARRIED. Is marriage the end of our movie? I would like to think of it as more of a beginning.
So why get married before 30? Is there something I’m able to do now that I won’t be able to do in a few years that I’m not aware of? Why rush into something just to satisfy the pressures and standards of society? Shouldn’t there be more reasons to get married than just being in love? Why can’t people just be happy for you if you’re fine the way things are?